AVOIDANCE IS SUFFERING

What is a pain avoidant brain?

People naturally tend to avoid pain, discomfort or negative emotions. This is a survival mechanism that we have developed to protect ourselves from dangerous or threatening situations.

In this context, pain can be both physical and emotional or psychological, such as fear, stress, feelings of rejection, shame or guilt. When we experience pain signals, the brain sees this as a warning. This often leads to behavioral changes aimed at avoiding that pain. The brain not only tries to avoid physical pain, but also emotional or mental pain. This can cause us to avoid difficult conversations, confrontations or changes, or situations in which we feel vulnerable or uncomfortable, such as criticism or the feeling of failure.

When the brain perceives pain or danger, it can activate the automatic response that we know as fight, flight or freeze.

Consequences of a pain avoidant brain

The tendency to avoid pain can prevent you from taking on challenges that are important, both in your personal life and in your professional growth. Some people do not dare to step out of their comfort zone because of this. This can lead to procrastination or avoidance of important conversations, which in turn can affect relationships. We often avoid difficult conversations or suppress feelings out of fear of conflict or rejection.

Some people resort to unhealthy ways to cope with these unpleasant feelings, such as overeating, addictive habits, excessive social media use or substance abuse.

How do you break a pain-avoiding brain?

Recognition:

It starts with awareness. It is important to recognize that your brain is trying to avoid pain.

Practice with discomfort:

Try to expose yourself to small forms of discomfort. This reduces the reflex to avoid pain and helps you, for example, to have difficult conversations or learn new skills, even if you are afraid of failure.

Mindfulness:

By staying in the moment and applying mindfulness, you can learn to accept discomfort and pain without automatically running away.

Seek support:

You can also ask for help from a therapist or coach. They can help you gain insight into your patterns and support you in learning new ways to deal with pain. A pain-avoidant brain is a natural response meant to protect us. Yet, this response can sometimes hold us back from reaching our full potential. By consciously dealing with this tendency and actively working on accepting discomfort, you can grow and develop yourself, instead of staying stuck in avoidance.